I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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