so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
