took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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