ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
