I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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