You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
