nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
a search helicopter?!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
sex in a hospital.. check
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