just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
