Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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