I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
