Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
