You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
