Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
