Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm at about main and main street
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
