i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
