We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize