I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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