:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize