my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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