I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
