It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
