If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
