Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
