Kiss
Puke
nut hugger
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
