just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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