well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
