It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
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How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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