You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize