one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
