Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
