im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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