i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
