you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize