So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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