just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
