I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize