I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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