Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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