All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
