She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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