morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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