your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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