This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
