pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize