Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
