We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
