My girlfriend figured out who you are.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
