but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
