Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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