I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
