I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
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For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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