dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
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Princesses don't give blow jobs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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