this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize